Divorcing an alcoholic: what to know about child custody

If your partner becomes violent or if you otherwise fear for your safety—or that of your children — it may be time to consider getting a divorce. Divorcing an alcoholic spouse can be challenging and frustrating. Various issues, such as child custody and finances, may become more complicated when divorcing a spouse struggling with alcoholism.

divorcing an alcoholic

She is the best mother to our four children I’ve ever seen. She is a wonderful cook, she works hard at everything she does and she teaches our kids to love God and do the right thing always. She doesn’t have a materialistic bone in her body, and she weeps for the pain of the people suffering around her. Sheri is the best woman I’ve ever known in every imaginable way, and I adore her. Do you think couples know they are getting a divorce before they do?

A study in Clinical Psychology Review looked at just how damaging alcoholism is for marriages. Results showed2that alcohol problems and heavy drinking are linked to lower levels of marital satisfaction. Further research found stress related to alcohol problems resulted in reduced marital satisfaction.

Ready to discuss divorcing the addict in your life?

When people use the term alcoholism, they are typically referring1to an alcohol use disorder, the medical diagnosis of someone with an alcohol addiction. An alcohol use disorder is a legitimate medical condition that causes changes in the brain, leading a person to seek alcohol compulsively, even when serious consequences result. Search for a good local family law practitioner and set up a consultation to discuss your legal options.

divorcing an alcoholic

Even in states like California, where there is no at-fault divorce filing, alcoholism can affect divorce-related rulings, such as child custody. These are some generalized pieces of advice that should be discussed with your attorney. Given the psychological toll a contested divorce takes on you, it’s probably wise that you engage a therapist as well to keep you as steady and productively proactive—and not reactive—as possible. Depending on which state you live in, family court proceedings can take a lot of time, and the narcissist will instruct his or her attorney to eat up as much of it as possible. It literally doesn’t occur to the narcissist because the focus is solely on him or her; nothing else really matters except satisfying personal needs and wants. Regarding the correlation between alcoholism and divorce, the real issue seems to arise when only one spouse is the heavy drinker in the marriage.

Is it OK to Divorce an Alcoholic?

Become emotionally abusive, such as by bullying you, criticizing you, or blaming you for their behavior. Clearly has negative consequences for the other persons in the relationship. They are fearful of a new life without their partner. For instance, they may say they are only going to have one or two drinks but end up drinking to the porn games point of intoxication. Your ability to obtain financial help from family or friends and the terms of such a loan or gift. Your spouse’s ability to pay for your attorney’s fees and the timing and amount of the fee request.

  • Courts will often consider evidence of alcoholism when making custody decisions.
  • But when it comes to alcoholism, part of the disease is not being able to face the fact that you need help, your family is frustrated and angry with you, and you might be functioning fairly normally.
  • No one should judge someone for staying or leaving or how long they wait before leaving.
  • Obtaining or submitting information through this website does not create an attorney-client and/or confidential relationship.
  • May be working and supporting the household, making the other partner financially dependent upon the alcoholic.

Keep a close eye on the progress of your husband’s habit of drinking. If you see some improvement, then try to give all the love and care so that he can come out from the clutches of alcoholism. He doesn’t get falling down drunk, but seems to need alcohol, pot, sleeping pills, and https://rehabliving.net/ anti-anxiety meds to manage his anxiety. He has struggled to stop drinking, but always starts again. I have done my best to detach from his drug use and live my own life, but I worry about our future together. My husband and I are in our 60’s and have been married for 22 years.

Request the court drug test your partner to see if alcohol and/or other substances are present. The best way to move forward in this process is to work with a lawyer who understands your situation and what you’re going through. This can help you know what to document, what steps ensure your safety, and how to work through this process in the most efficient way possible. This website is intended to provide general information and you should not rely on this website or its contents as a source of legal advice.

When she saw me get drunk and start alcohol-induced arguments while we were dating and engaged, it was behavior with which she was familiar. It didn’t scare her away as it probably should have. Children of alcoholics think alcoholism is normal.

An alarming rise to alcoholism gave way to an increase in divorce application for the same cause. An alcoholic parent could be ordered by the court to go to a rehabilitation center, Alcoholics Anonymous, or any other type of group that would help them resolve their addiction. If it is an extreme case, the safety of your child could be threatened if they were to stay with your spouse because of their alcoholism. You should discuss with your attorney what type of custody would be best for them moving forward. If you live in a state with no-fault divorce laws, filing for a fault-based divorce may still be possible if your spouse has been emotionally or physically abusing you. However, these thoughts usually dissipate from the very first sip of alcohol, thus triggering another round of harmful dependency.

Is My Partner’s Alcoholism a Reason for Divorce?

Some forensic psychologists also perform drug evaluations. This may require a restraining order and emergency child custody orders. You must have the evidence to support your position of this threat.

divorcing an alcoholic

Having an addiction is like having another disease or chronic condition, like cancer or Parkinson’s or anything. But, in my opinion, it is much more difficult because it’s hard to see it that way. That is to be seen, in my opinion, since no one can “help” an alcoholic except the alcoholic. Claire is a personal finance expert, businesswoman with 25 years of experience, and the founder of AskFlossie.

Courts will often consider evidence of alcoholism when making custody decisions. You’ll also need to make sure that you and your children have adequate health insurance. If your spouse was the primary breadwinner and carried the insurance, ensure they don’t drop you during the separation phase. This is a federal law that requires employers to let employees’ families continue their health insurance after a qualifying event, such as divorce or leaving the company.

Narcissism Essential Reads

Expungement may make it difficult to obtain the records from the Court. Everything we write here applies to functional addicts, dysfunctional addicts and the junkies. For the last two types, the strategy may change and become more elaborate. Some functional drug addicts hold a powerful position in large companies and even State or Federal government positions. We hope you enjoy this video on divorcing an addict in California.

As a blogger for Psychology Today and the Huffington Post, he frequently writes about psychology and relationships and works with media outlets such as Time, The New York Times, and NPR. It’s not always obvious that there’s a narcissist in the mix, especially if he or she appears to be well-spoken and well-off; self-presentation goes a long way in fooling people. Your ex’s narcissistic tendencies, in fact, may only fully reveal themselves during the divorce process because it’s during conflict that the narcissist shows his or her true colors.

The habit of drinking in one of the spouse has probably ended more marriages and broken up more families than you can even think of. Alcoholism can truly ruin not just the alcoholic’s life, but his or her loved ones, including children. If you are wondering if you should eco sober house price stay or leave an alcoholic, please keep your children in mind. While divorce is very difficult, it might be the better decision because if the kids grow up living with an alcoholic, it can truly take a toll on their emotional health and how they will be as adults.

I still want to make it work, I still love him, but he appears to have woken up from a slumber and decided he wants a brand new start. Part of me understands the other part is furious that after everything I’ve done to support him through this that he now decides to walk. I believe we alcoholics are victims of our disease.

In my experience feeling ashamed of one’s diagnosis is not a requirement of making amends to those whom one has harmed. Having received amends made by a loved one, I can assure you that it was a very powerful and positive experience on both sides, requiring no shame. This is the part of the post where I tell you how much better sobriety is than active addiction.

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